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justjoyagain
23 August 2008 @ 11:00 am

A friend sent this to me. It's been said that God first separated the salt water from the fresh, made dry land, planted a garden, made animals and fish... all before making a human. He made and provided what we'd need before we were born. These are best & more powerful when eaten raw.  We're such slow learners...

God left us a great clue as to what foods help what part of our body!
God's Pharmacy! Amazing!
A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye... and YES, science now shows carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.
A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart has four chambers and i s red. All of the research shows tomatoes are loaded with lycopine and are indeed pure heart and blood food.
Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.
A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums.  Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are just like the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop more than three (3) dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.
Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys.
Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and many more look just like bones. Th ese foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don't have enough sodium in your diet, the body pulls it from the bones, thus making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.
Avocadoes, Eggplant and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female - they look just like these organs. Today's research shows that when a woman eats one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight, and prevents cervical cancers . And how profound is this?  It takes exactly nine (9) months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them).
Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the mobility of male sperm and increase the numbers of Sperm as well to overcome male sterility.
Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics.
Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries
Oranges, Grapefruits, and other Citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.
Onions look like the body's cells. Today's research shows onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes. A working companion, Garlic, also helps eliminate waste materials and dangerous free radicals from the body.

 

 
 
Current Mood: complacent
 
 
justjoyagain
22 August 2008 @ 09:34 pm
A little birdie told me you are having a birthday on Monday.
You were trying to keep that little secret, huh?

Have a neat one, maybe even over in Multiply too..
Ya ready?
 
 
Current Mood: creative
 
 
justjoyagain
Ok, I was asked to be a bit naughty on here, so I will be naughty for my friend Wicked...But just for the weekend!
Then Monday is my birthday so I'll be nice again!  lol
So, how can I be naughty?
Oh, I know , Wicked

 did a 20 question thingy and it was asked in there
if anyone had ever been arrested. 

 I answered 'YES'.
Supposedly I have this image of never having been young once...lol
Well, I was arrested a long time ago. For sorta shoplifting..I
worked at 20 in a dry cleaning store and stole something that had been left in there for 6 months without being picked up. At that time we were allowed to do that by just paying for the old cleaning bill. 


Well, I didn't pay but just took it home, thinking they would think it was just picked up late..The stupidity of a 20 year old over 40 some years ago!!

 
 
justjoyagain
25 July 2008 @ 11:34 pm

 

 

Today at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent.
From my purchase this chap took off ten percent.
I asked for the cause of a lesser amount;
And he answered, "Because of the Seniors' Discount."

 

senilityprayer-1.gif (7141 bytes)

 

I went to McDonald's for a burger and fries;
And there once again, got quite a surprise.
The clerk poured some coffee which he handed to me.
He said, "For you Seniors, the coffee is free."

 

 

Understand - I'm not old - I'm merely mature;
But some things are changing, temporarily, I'm sure.
The newspaper print gets smaller each day,
And people speak softer - can't hear what they say.

 

senilityprayer-4.gif (7042 bytes)

 

My teeth are my own (I have the receipt),
And my glasses identify people I meet.
Oh, I've slowed down a bit...not a lot, I am sure.
You see, I'm not old...I'm only mature.

 

 

The gold in my hair has been bleached by the sun.
You should see all the damage that chlorine has done.
Washing my hair has turned it all white,
But don't call it gray....saying "blond" is just right.

 

senilityprayer-5.gif (7882 bytes)

 

My car is all paid for...not a nickel is owed.
Yet some kids yell, "Old duffer...get off the road!"
My car has no scratches...not even a dent,
Still I get all this stuff from a punk who's "Hell bent."

 

 

My friends all get older...much faster than me.
They seem much more wrinkled, from what I can see.
I've got "character lines" not wrinkles...for sure,
But don't call me old....just call me mature.

 

senilityprayer-7.gif (6374 bytes)

 

The steps in the houses they're building today
Are so high that they take all your breath away;
And the streets are much steeper than ten years ago.
That should explain why my walking is slow.

 

 

But I'm keeping up with what's hip and what's new,
And I think I can still dance a mean boogaloo.
I'm still in the running...in this I'm secure,
I'M NOT REALLY OLD....I'M ONLY MATURE!

 

 

 

 
 
Current Mood: crazy
 
 
justjoyagain
18 July 2008 @ 12:01 pm
I got an email from 'live journal' so I decided to click it and it brought me here.
I just read my local newspaper online today because a friend posted the link and I went to read it.
Guess who's in town today??  Our President Bush..
Of course as all politicians do, he's at some rich person's million dollar home doing a fundraiser for some new person running for Gov....here in good ole Tucson Az.
A $1,000.00 breakfast.Can you believe that!!
Oh well, this was just a quickie blog as long as I was here.
So have a happy day, and even a better weekend..I prolly
won't be back for a while...I blog mostly down in yahoo 360 and Multiply..
 
 
Current Mood: happy
 
 
justjoyagain
09 July 2008 @ 08:34 am
Not sure if I can do a copy n paste pic here, but I'm gonna try.

Fresh Milk!

 

With home delivery to boob, er, I mean BOOT!
 

 
 
Current Mood: crazy
 
 
justjoyagain
01 July 2008 @ 06:47 pm
HAIR REMOVAL???????????
256 magnify
Hair Removal....

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet."

So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so
I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!

OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!

Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip)

I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. OH NO! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted.

I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it.

Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am
touching wax.

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG
mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.

Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax?

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???

*WRONG!!!!!!!*

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of
the tub...in scalding hot water.

Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter
"So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?"

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions, I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works !!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color......
 
 
Current Mood: creative
 
 
justjoyagain
22 June 2008 @ 03:57 pm

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

Men are like....

1. Men are like ..... Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like ... Weather........ Nothing can be done to change them.
3. Men are like ... Blenders.......You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
4. Men are like ...Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
5. Men are like ..... Commercials?.... You can't believe a word they say.
6. Men are like ....Department Stores .... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
7. Men are like ... GovernmentBonds ?...They take soooooooo long to mature.
8. Men are like .... mascara........They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
9. Men are like .. Popcorn ......... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
10. Men are like ... LavaLamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright
11. Men are like .... ParkingSpots ...All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
Tags:
 
 
Current Mood: creative
 
 
justjoyagain
29 May 2008 @ 09:47 am


Your Daddy Is Dick Cheney



What You Call Him: Pa



Why You Love Him: He knows best

 
 
Current Mood: happy
 
 
justjoyagain
17 May 2008 @ 09:11 pm
 
               "KITTY DICTIONARY"

LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to practice
playing dead, digging in the claws, and watching your human get frustrated.

CAT BED: any surface that would look better with a layer of cat hair.

DOG:  Animail of little use to cats except to open garbage cans.

DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects cats when their human wants them to
do something that only a human would even think a cat might want to do.
Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, licking paws, or lying down.

THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain
amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the
danger by jumping on them, claws in full battle position.  A good yowl adds
to the effect.  Watch your human squeal with appreciation at your
thoughtfulness.

WASTEBASKET: This is a cat toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy
wrappers. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all
over the house until your human comes home

SOFAS: Are to cats like emery boards are to humans.  Gets those nails nice
and sharp!

BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and
themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.  If you like
pink water, use claws vigorously.

LEAP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a
fresh cup of coffee or tea.

LOVE: Unknown to cats, it is a feeling of intense human affection, given
freely and without restriction, usually accompanied by food and goodies. The
best way you can get your human to shower you with love ( a.k.a., food and
goodies) is to sit in their lap and purr.

FART:  If the human does not shower you with food and goodies after you sit
in the human's lap, try purring louder, and then fart - maybe the human fell
asleep.  If the louder purring does not wake them up, the fart probably
will.

NEWSPAPER:  A signal from the human that you are to jump onto their lap and
practice paper shredding.

MAGAZINE:  See Newspaper.

BOOK:  See Newspaper.

DEAD RAT:  Reward for the human who has showered you with food and goodies.
Watch them shriek with delight when they discover your most generous gift.

 
 
Current Mood: crazy
 
 
 
 

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